How do you deal with difficult people at work?

How do you deal with difficult people at work? 

In a former job, I had a manager that was insufferable (to me). 

Each day, she presented new ways to showcase that we were complete opposites. My style is to keep things lively, ensure that everyone on the team is respected and acknowledged. My manager, would bulldoze through people and try to control every aspect of how they did their job.

My tenure didn't last long there at this organization because of this manager. However, as I reminisce about that position, I have come to recognize that DiSC could have helped me deal with difficult co-workers like my former manager.

While we all expect the manager or boss to be the more mature person, we all have a responsibility to be mature ourselves and recognize how our own work style might negatively affect someone else.

In the case of my manager, I could have been more proactive in leaning into her need for self-control. Instead, I did the exact opposite. I went behind her back on tasks. My goal was to annoy her greatly, and it worked.

Because we had opposing work styles, I started to develop automatic thoughts that pushed me towards destructive behaviors. I felt entitled to 'fight back' when in reality I made our work environment worse.

Myers-Briggs vs DiSC - What are the differences?

Myers-Briggs or DiSC? Which assessment do you choose when you are conducting a soft-skills training program? 

The Myers-Briggs (MBTI) and DiSC are the two most popular assessment based programs.

Assessment based training programs provide an immense amount of value. They can cut through conversations that could otherwise become judgmental? 

Don't believe me?

Try talking to someone and telling them you see they value tasks over people. I'm sure they will become defensive. However, if you ask them if they have a D Style on the DiSC graph, you will be able to talk about the same observation without making them feel judged.

For this reason, many corporate trainers, coaches, and facilitators use assessment based programs. It can help build self-awareness, communication, and bridge divides on teams.

But which assessment training program do you use?

Often, many trainers choose to use the program they are familiar with. If you took Myers-Briggs in college, used it during a Masters program, and then were offered it at your job, there is a very good chance you will continue using it in your own training.

Often, we have heard that organizations that have switch from Myers-Briggs to DiSC switch because Everything DiSC is easier to understand and use. Myers-Briggs measure a 16 unique behavioral styles. It's true that Myers-Briggs measures more than DiSC. However, don't believe that DiSC offers any fewer insights than Myers-Briggs.

Both tools provide insights into extroversion / introversion, thinking / feeling and DiSC uniquely offers insights into the Dominance / Submissive traits. Myers-Briggs doesn't offer this scale. Often, this is a scale that people identify as the largest characteristic of a person's personality.

Want to learn more about Myers Briggs and DiSC? Click to learn more.

The Everything DiSC “D” Personality Style Under Pressure – Part 1

Understanding your Everything DiSC style and personality traits is a powerful tool. Equally important is to be able to understand to DiSC personality and behavioral preferences of other on your team. Imagine that you’re on a team working on a huge, organization-changing, once-in-a-lifetime project. Everything is going great until the deadline changes. The new deadline is aggressive, and you openly wonder if the team can deliver on time.

Your friend, a high D, feels the tension. And like high-D people tend to do, when she is under stress, she lets everyone have it. 

“This deadline isn’t a problem if everybody just toughens up,” she fumes. “Am I the only one working late and on the weekends? What is wrong with people?”

You see, high D’s are likely to become impatient and demanding when the pressure builds. So your friend may lash out at others and berate people to get them moving. Her empathy may go on hiatus while she pushes others to meet her high standards, and it can appear that she cares only about achieving results. And yes, she can be brutally — and we mean brutally — honest about the situation.

So how does her blunt, take-no-prisoners attitude mesh with the other members of your team?

You can learn more about others behavioral styles and personality preferences and how they relate to you and your team by using the Everything DiSC Workplace Profile, Everything DiSC Comparison Reports, and the Group Culture Report.

To be continued…

DiSC Content And DISContent With Your Career

This blog is on incorporating the DiSC model into a process of determining what is important to you in a job or career. This same exercise is equally powerful in determining what is important to you in life (life-balance using DiSC will be explored in a later entry). The following is an approach I have used with my private coaching and psychotherapy clients, as well as with myself in the past.

Focus on what you want or need from a job. Take some time and look at where you are now, where you want to be and what is in between here and there. Question yourself. Note: This exercise will only be as useful as you let it be, so do this when and where you won't be bothered by external distractions. Realize there are no right or wrong answers.

Sit down somewhere quiet with a pad of paper, a computer or an audio recorder and prepare to brainstorm. Ask yourself the following question and others that may be relevant to you.

What Is Important To Me? Make a quick list of whatever pops into your mind. Do not judge or edit your thoughts. Do not worry about grammar or spelling. The list below is for example purposes only. Do not limit yourself to these and replace the ones that don‘t fit.

• Career
• Job security
• Freedom
• Not being limited by others
• Financial security
• Family
• Social relationships
• Health
• Status
• Understanding what is going on and why
• Having control over your future
• Recognition
• Being a part of a greater whole
• Just being apart
• Having tangibles
• Cultivating intangibles
• Making a difference in your life

What would make me happy?

How would I know if I was happy?

What is keeping me for being happy?

What needs of mine are not being met?

Now focus on your job or career (or the one you want) and ask these questions.

What is important to me in a job?

• Money?
• Results?
• Status?
• Teamwork?
• Being creative?
• Getting it right?
• Details?
• The bottom-line?
• Relationships?
• Loyalty…?      Again these are just some examples.

How would I know I had the right job?

Is it important for me to have a job I love or is it just a means to an end?

What motivates me?

What would my ideal job be?

What aspect of that job make it ideal?

Is it the job that is ideal or is it the things I do in that job, the title, the position, the roles within that job ?

Is my job consistent with my career path? Does it need to be?

How much is my identity tied into my job?

Using The DiSC Profile To Reinforce What Is Important To You

Next review the results of your DiSC profile. If you have not completed the DiSC Profile within the last six months and there has been major changes in your life during that time, you may want to take the DiSC again. If you want detailed feedback on your DiSC style and how it relates to others in the workplace you should take the Everything DiSC Workplace Profile.

Use your DiSC report as a tool to stimulate thoughts of what is important to you in a job or career. Look at what your preferences are, what motivates you and what stress you out. Is what you are looking for unique to a particular job or industry or can you find it in many totally unrelated jobs and industries? Again, is it a particular job or title that is important to you or is it  what you do within that job that is significant to you?

Previous Job Evaluation

Review the jobs you have had in your past. Create two columns on a page. On one side list: "What did I like about that job?" On the other side list: "What didn’t I like in that job?" Review the list. Look past the obvious and search for patterns. Look for common threads, e.g. "I liked helping people because it made me feel good" or "I felt great when I achieved my goals and I take pride in my independence."

Next make the three columns: 1) What do I want in a job? 2) What do I need in a job (non-negotiable)? 3) What I don’t want in a job (non-negotiable) and fill it out referring to the above exercise. Look for common patterns and roles you have been in that transcend job title, position, or industry.

Why is it so powerful to add the DiSC assessment to this exercise? Here are two reasons:

1. It reinforces what we already know about ourselves.
2. It brings out blind spots about ourselves that we are not aware of, take for granted, or think unimportant. For example a person with a “S” DiSC style may discover that being a part of a team is important to her, but might be totally unaware how important that is to her in a job and how in certain jobs it would be an asset that differentiate her. She just assumes that everyone would be happier being part of a team. Another example is a “D” style sales profession who doesn't realize how vital it is to his sense of self to work independently and get immediate feedback on his success through daily commission reports and can’t figure out why he is unhappy when he has been moved to a straight salary sales position and has to be a part of a "sales team".

Think about the insights your DiSC personality assessment reveals. Then go back to the questions above and refine your answers. See what you learned about what is important to you and use it to expand your job and career options.

-- John C Goodman, MSOD, MSW

What Is The Best DISC Style For Sales Hiring?

What Is The Best DISC Style For Hiring In Sales?

I am often asked what is the best DISC Style or DISC personality type for a sales person. Should we hire a high "D", "I", "S", "C" or a combined style like a "ID" or "DI"...? There is no single answer. No one DISC profile of the ideal sales person exists. It really depends on the type of business you are in, the type of selling that is required and/or desired in the job you are hiring for. Factors that come into play include, but are not limited to:

• industry type
• business type
• type of sales interaction taking place:
  
  • phone
  • direct sales, in-person
  • internet based
  • cold calling
  • warm calling
  • new or existing accounts
  • relationship selling
  • hard sell
• style of of sales program:
• SPIN Selling
• IMPACT Selling
• Solution selling
• etc....

Be Careful What You Wish For

It is common for clients to contact me and say they are hiring for sales and therefore they need to screen for a "DI" or "ID" because they want an individual that is motivated by results or the bottom-line (commission/money). This sales candidate should also be an independent self-starter and good with people. That sounds good on the surface (fits many sales people stereotypes) and will likely get you some good high performance sales people, but what is the downside of hiring the obvious? Well, this type of person may be driven by their bottom-line and not yours. They may not be a team player. They may not only be competitive against your competitors, but also competitive towards other sales people within your organization. Remember what motivates them. If they are highly successful they are likely the same types of sales person that other sales organizations are looking for and are likely going to be pursued by head hunters and executive recruiters. DISC can help you understand if the candidate is predisposed to acting independently or whether they are more of a team player. It does not measure values, morals or loyalty.

Let's be honest. Each DISC pattern can sell and can do well in certain sales situations, just as they can be disastrous in other situations. There are many people, like myself that get turned off when they are feeling sold to. I don't want to play the game of someone asking me about the weather in Chicago or my about my family when they don't even know them (or me for that matter). I don't want to feel pressured by someone if I don't act before midnight tonight. I want my questions answered. I want information. I want a good deal. I don't trust the high "I" sales person or the high pressure "D". But those are my issues, however, if I am the buyer, it is my issues that matter.

All DISC Styles or Profiles Have Advantages and Disadvantages

Some examples of both the strengths and weaknesses of the various DISC personality types in the next one or two blogs entries, but here are some quick thoughts.

An "I" may be the kind of people person you think you want as a sales person, but they may not deal so well with rejection. They may take it personally.

A "D" may be great when it comes to staying focused and get to the bottom line, but who's bottom-line are they most interested in, the clients' or their own? They may understand that it takes 98 "no"'s to get to three or four "yes's". They may try and control the sales process which some clients may want (an "S"), but others may feel manipulated by the same behavior (a "D" client).

A "S" sales person my be intimidated by a "D" client and avoid soliciting such clients or come over wishy-washy to them. The "S" sales person may avoid asking for the sale and closing the deal. Yet if you are looking for a sincere and no pressure sales person this is your type.

A "C" can explain why this is a wonderful product and focus on benefits, but the "D" buyer does have time for all these details and may get frustrated. The "I" buyer is more interested in benefits and how it makes them feel, rather than the features and what is does.

 

Generalizing the DISC Sales Styles

If you want to do a quick generalization of the DISC selling styles we can say that: The "D" and "I" are more action oriented The "I" and "S" are more relationship oriented The "S" and "C" are more dependability oriented The "C" and "D" are more competency oriented With "D" putting more emphases on results "I" putting more emphases on enthusiasm "S" putting emphases on sincerity "C" focusing on quality So you might extrapolate from this that in individual who is comfortable in the "I" or "S" style my do well in Relationship Selling. And a "D" may do better cold calling and an "S" warm calling.

Again, What Is The Best Personality Type For Sales?

In my opinion the best personality or behavioral style or type has little to do with DISC. What I want in a sales person is:

• Someone who is:
  
  
  • Flexible
  • Adaptive
  • A good listener
• Some who:
• Knows how to ask the right questions at the right time
• Can quickly determine a customer's/client's buying style and what they need to make a decision

It is less about cloning your best sales person. People are more complex than a four quadrant model.

My next entry will look at some DiSC model based Sales profiles and assessment from Everything DiSC. But if you want to see them now go to: Everything DiSC Sales Profile and pull up the sample reports.