How do you deal with difficult people at work?

How do you deal with difficult people at work? 

In a former job, I had a manager that was insufferable (to me). 

Each day, she presented new ways to showcase that we were complete opposites. My style is to keep things lively, ensure that everyone on the team is respected and acknowledged. My manager, would bulldoze through people and try to control every aspect of how they did their job.

My tenure didn't last long there at this organization because of this manager. However, as I reminisce about that position, I have come to recognize that DiSC could have helped me deal with difficult co-workers like my former manager.

While we all expect the manager or boss to be the more mature person, we all have a responsibility to be mature ourselves and recognize how our own work style might negatively affect someone else.

In the case of my manager, I could have been more proactive in leaning into her need for self-control. Instead, I did the exact opposite. I went behind her back on tasks. My goal was to annoy her greatly, and it worked.

Because we had opposing work styles, I started to develop automatic thoughts that pushed me towards destructive behaviors. I felt entitled to 'fight back' when in reality I made our work environment worse.

Learn the S Personality Type

The S Personality Type is the DiSC style that seeks stability and harmony. Someone with this style is 'flexible' in how they see the world. Their ideas and beliefs are more fluid because they place stability in higher regard than challenging what they hear. This doesn't mean that they don't have strong beliefs, it's just that they are willing to bend what they believe to accommodate someone else's beliefs. 

This ability allows for them to be the ultimate peacemaker on teams. 

They are able to listen to what someone is telling them without questioning what they are hearing. They prioritize relationships and they will be demotivated in environments where teamwork isn't regarded well. Often, they are seen as the keystone for cohesive teams. They will check the more dominant and challenging styles to ensure that these team member's more demanding priorities don't hurt the group or individual members of the group.

Individuals with this style will often avoid conflict. If they are having issues with a person on their team, they might bury the tension deep within them. It's important that they find a way to bring that tension out or they might engage in destructive behaviors like gossiping, rudeness, or being petty.

Learn more about the S Personality Type on the Center for Internal Change blog.